The Last Content Space Marine

So, With FFXIII-2 released, the old debates about XIII have flared up again like a case of genital warts. In several areas I have been professing my distate for the plot of XIII, and after hearing people actively praising it, I was spurred into action. What follows was originally intended to be a response to a post on Reddit, however after hours of righteous, furious typing it was simply too long to allow. I had no desire to edit it down. So here it is, the distilaion of my loathing and contempt for the plot and characters of Final Fantasy XIII.

The Fal’cie are idiots. They brand servants to do a job- fine. And why don’t they just tell the servants what that job is instead of giving them some vague, indefinable dream? We see in the game that they are perfectly capable of communicating with and understanding humans, so what is the problem? Hell, why brand them? Just go “We will give you wealth and power within Cocoon if you do this thing for us. Hell, we run the place.” Even though they’re planning on blowing up the shop they can LIE.

And with that, the entire point of the game falls down. The whole plot is built on the idea of these bastards fucking with the character’s lives, and lo- they don’t even need to do it. If it wasn’t for the fact we see that the Fal’Cie CAN communicate with humans then there’d be a basis for it- kind of like people trying to train animals. But they can fucking well TALK to people. This makes even less sense than Battlefield Earth. If the Psychlo could implant knowledge into humans, why not do it to make them more effective slaves? You don’t need to teach them kung fu, but if they could understand what you are saying, surely it makes more sense to enable communication? You can compare this game to Battlefield Earth. Think about that.

And even if we write out the fact that Fal’Cie can communicate with humans and accept that they are so divine, so godly so far advanced beyond the ken of humans that we are like worms to them- it’s still stupid. If these things are so advanced then they can see humans are intelligent. We build shit. We operate machines. We have TECHNOLOGY. We create art. Hell, we are even a threat to them! They can’t be that bloody advanced if the player party can kick the living shit out of one before they even get access to the levelling system. Battlefield Earth again.

Hope wants to kill Snow. Why doesn’t he? No, really, why doesn’t he? He has plenty of opportunity. He can shove a fucking bladed boomerang in his back at any time. He could cast a lightning spell on him. Hell, Snow TRUSTS him. He could trick him next to a ledge and push him off it. The idea that he’s struggling with his lust for revenge against everything else that’s going on would be a fine element for a story, but when you stretch it out for about 20 hours it just turns the character into an annoying, whiney little prick. Arcs looking at the human condition and inner torment are fine, but they require movement, they require analysis of the character dealing with their pain and they require resolution. Watching someone bitch, whine and moan for nearly twenty hours before just deciding ‘Ah never mind he ‘aint not that bad’ is not good story telling. You enjoy that sort of thing? Go and watch Twilight. It’s the exact same self absorbed, pointless, ‘feel my pain’, bad moral tripe. I never thought my response to a character who has lost a parent would be ‘Get the fuck over it’- especially not one written by a professional author.

Lightning is without a doubt one of the worst protagonists I have ever seen. She is bland, shallow and utterly, utterly thick. Oh I can see what she was supposed to be the strong empowered woman- the badass who can hold it with the best of them- but the writers fall into the same trap every moron does when writing such a character- they add the badass and forget the character. I’ve seen more emotion and life from Easter decorations. She hits things with a sword, cold shoulders everyone and feeds out the same ‘if you never expect anything good you’ll never be disappointed’ crap that Cloud and Squall chucked out, or that ‘you can’t have any emotion if you want to survive’ bullshit. “Oh but she’s supposed to be withdrawn, taciturn and then develops, realising that people need other people and its okay to rely on friends!” The fanboys shout. “Cloud did it and you like Final Fantasy VII!” Others bellow. Well, there are two responses to this. Response one is that THIS HAS BEEN DONE BEFORE. New idea. Move on. Change- innovation. Good innovation if you please. Response two is that when Cloud came out of his shell it was a gradual, slow realization building up to a Eureka moment when his delusions of life are stripped away and he is revealed for the pantywaist failure that he is- and he decides ‘Fuck it I’m going to give it my best shot anyway’. You know... the exact opposite of Hope? Lightning just spontaneously decided it was okay to be a human being too.

There’s virtually no analysis, no look at the characters dealing with this. Just Eidolon fight and bing! Everything is magically better again. Compare this with Final Fantasy VII, where characters have large sections of game time dedicated to looking at why they became like they are, then providing catharsis and development. Barrett returns to Corel and we discover his past, which results in a confrontation with Dyne, forcing forgiveness and catharsis on Barrett in a bitter form. It’s not happy, but it gives him resolution and perspective. It’s a small, self contained story- not a rapidly hashed out set piece to be burned through as quickly as possible. How about Cid? Another self contained story of a man who has his dream taken away from him, and yet he develops as the game progresses, achieves his dream and becomes a better, more rounded person as he does so. You see it happening, bit by bit. Even Red XIII gets an actual, independent segment of story to push and develop his character, as opposed to a few random scenes here and there, which is all the characters in XIII ever get.

On a final note on this topic I once heard a claim Lightning is supposed to be suffering from PTSD. I hope this is not the case as if it is then her character arc is the most insulting, demeaning representation of a serious psychological condition I have seen in almost any form of media. You do not simply recover from PTSD by having an emo rage episode. Moving on.

Okay, maybe this is a cultural thing, but isn’t there a real age gap between Serah and Snow? I mean he looks like he’s in or past his mid twenties, and she... well she doesn’t even look sixteen. It’s hard for me to care about a romance when all I can see is a paedophile. Frankly, it’s creepier than Final Fantasy X sexualising Rikku at every turn (who the manual says is 15). That blows the point of those characters out of the water.

Vanille was from Pulse!? SHOCK! HORROR! SCANDAL! Err... this was supposed to be a twist right? Because the game certainly tried to sell it like one but it’s obvious from the moment you see her she’s not a bloody local. Oh and if I have to hear that nasal, helium enhanced whine ever again I will probably snap. Piss annoying character, totally stock, not any effort made to even try and disguise her as something interesting. She also reminded me of Ed from Cowboy Bebop- another character I loathe. In fact they are both cut from the same stereotype. All either of them do is bounce around and make annoying observations in a light hearted detached way that offers all the substance of a soap bubble. Kind of like every character in X-2.

Okay, how about something positive? Sazh is the closest thing the game ever gets to an interesting character, and is the axle on which the game’s one actual moving and dramatic moment turns (his bittersweet reunion with his son). Beyond that his job is to go ‘I’m too old for this. By the way did anyone notice I’m black?’ That chocobo chick he has. Purpose? Point? Other than to imply that an afro is like a bird’s nest? Was it supposed to be endearing? Because frankly Sazh’s quest to save his son and the obvious lengths he’d go to for him did that just fine. He was the only character whose motivations I gave a shit about. Was it supposed to be funny? If so, how? He has a bird living in his hair and sometimes it comes out and chirps a bit before going back. Where’s the joke? I used to keep rats and sometimes they slept on my face. Was that funny?

Fang. Oh Fang. You left about as much of an impact as a fly bashing against a window. Mind you in this game at least that means you probably weren’t quite as terrible as the rest of the cast.

So, the gang are branded by the Fal’Cie and decide they are not going to accept their fate! They will not end up as crystals or zombies! Yeah right on, we’re going to not destroy Cocoon by... uh... destroying cocoon. Did I miss a logical step here? One minute the group is standing around declaring how they will never kill Orphan and destroy Cocoon. Next thing I know I’m... umm... killing Orphan. How exactly did this happen? Okay so Fang saves the day... uhh... how? Did I miss something important? Didn’t she and Vanille become the destroyer of worlds or something? What did they just change their minds? Can they do that? If they could do that then what this entire fucking story in aid of!? Why was this all important? Are you telling me I busted my balls for fifty hours when Fang and Vanille could have just wondered up to Orphan, turned into Ragnarok and gone “RAAAAAGHHHHH.... oh never mind. Kthnxbai.” Okay, I get that the party kill Orphan and then Fang and Vanille become Ragnarok to save Cocoon from crashing but... they can do that? Really? You’re telling me that The Fal’Cie created this elaborate plan to destroy Cocoon... AND GAVE THE SAME PEOPLE THE POWER TO FUCKING SAVE IT!? It’s like planning an assassination attempt and giving the assassin a few blank rounds. Why would you do this? If you want to destroy a place you do not give the people who will be doing it- Who you are forcing to do it against their will even- the means to also foil your plan. This makes less sense than a Bond villain execution- at least they have the motive that they want to watch a hated enemy suffer and die slowly. Again we come back to the fact that the Fal’Cie are fucking idiots, and the plot of the story only works because these ‘super advanced beings’ couldn’t plan to fall down some stairs.

It also suggests something very disturbing about our characters. Did they know Fang and Vanille could do this? If not then they just risked the lives of millions of people on the hope that an opportunity would present itself- all to save their own skins. What arseholes! If they did know Fang and Vanille could do this when why not just... do it? Why not just have Ragnarok kill Orphan, and then save Cocoon? Why even return? Couldn’t you just tell Vanille and Fang to turn into the harvester of souls and send them up to Cocoon to kill Orphan and then build the pillar to stop Cocoon crashing? All this makes option one more likely- which just compounds my contempt for these characters.

I probably missed something important though, thanks in no small part to the reams and reams of text. This is an absolutely inexcusable way to tell a story in a videogame. A videogame is a GAME. It is something to be played. Narrative should be woven into the game. You should not have to pause the game access a menu and read most of the game’s plot, or shitty little articles that are supposed to help the twisted mess make sense. Conceptually it’s no different than if I go to see a film and it’s just two hours of still shots with text scrolling over them. If I wanted to read, I would read a book. This is easily the most unpardonable offence in Final Fantasy XIII’s story telling. No, I don’t give a shit if I do need to read it to get the story- it’s an atrocious waste of my time. I bought a game- not a book, a GAME.

Now you can argue that I like Mullet Gear Solid and Kojima spends most of his time making endless cut scenes. And that pisses me off too. But at least Kojima has the decency to punctuate his film with some pretty good gameplay sequences. How about the stories in Lost Odyssey? Well, those where not vital to the plot (so could be skipped), and more importantly were beautifully written, heart rending pieces set to gentle and appropriate background music and sounds, and also did interesting things with font to convey a new reading experience. One of those stories moved me to tears. They were gorgeous.

Final Fantasy XIII’s text reads like a vanilla movie summary, lacking passion, any emotive content or even the slightest hint of skill.

Bottom line, I am not going read your book when I paid for a game, especially when it’s a pointless, lazy alternative to selling your story better in the game to begin with. It’s (or at least was) 2010. We’re not in the text adventure era any more.

What about VII though? That had endless talky scenes didn’t it? Cloud and Tifa’s last night together at the well, Cloud and Tifa piecing together Cloud’s memories... the umpteen hundred times the player group sat around and yakked pointlessly? Again, two things. One, those scenes pissed me off also, but two, they were more interesting as you saw events going on (admittedly the graphics by these day’s standard’s mean that isn’t really a good thing), and the game also used background music to enhance the experience. They were not exactly entertaining, but they were tolerable and some were actually quite sweet and emotive. It had- and still has- far more life to it than a wall of text.

Man, fuck this I’m going to talk about something else.

The Eidolons. Okay, as a narrative device, it’s kind of a cool idea. It also makes sense for the Fal’Cie to use them- your servant not going to work? They emo raging to the point of not actually being useful anymore- possibly because you didn’t just tell them what you wanted? Have you, the writer, driven them into an emotional corner and can’t think of a way out? Do or die time bitches! And initially it works. However as the game progresses the impact of these scenes gets less and less until the last few scenes become “Oh, character freaking out- better get ready for a boss fight”, and the scene looses any emotional connection. The last one to actually have an impact (and probably the most well done of the bunch- in fact the best scene of the game) is Sazh versus the Eidolon that transforms into a drag racer. Speaking of which don’t even get me started on the eidolon stylization and mechanics. Well I will say this at least- I laughed so, so hard each time one transformed into a Michael Bay wet dream. It was almost worth forty quid just for those laughs.

I am absolutely certain that I could pull apart even more of this game (I’ve not even mentioned those god damn flashbacks), but it’s been about what... two years since release? I didn’t play it after I completed and thankfully I’ve forgotten most of the experience. But I think I’ve made my point clear. The game is horrendously told even before you consider the actual ‘Tube’ that the game takes place in and the plot has more holes in it that a tramp’s socks. The basis of the entire story is patchy at best. The ending reveals that the entire journey was pointless because the character’s always had the means to cheat their fate. The journey itself was dull and unsatisfying, populated by uninteresting, cardboard cut out characters who either had no idea how to realize their motives, had no motives or just whined and bitched for fifty hours.

Nearly three thousand words. Three thousand and I didn’t even mention the gameplay mechanics- which are a fresh slice of hell all their own.

So, Space Marine. I said in my thoughts on the demo (http://tlcsm.blogspot.com/2011/08/space-marine-demo.html) that I would buy the game if it came down in price, and it has thanks to a Steam sale. I’ve played through the entire single player campaign. What did I think of it? Well, the demo was certainly a poor representation of the positive aspects of the game; however it was a shining example its shortfalls.

There are many, many shortfalls. That said though, Space Marine manages to remain an entertaining title and while it can be frustrating at times, it is pretty fun. The melee combat is mostly well executed (bar a few unpleasant faults) and has a totally unique feel which sets the game apart from other melee centric action games like God of War.

I stand by my assertion that a cover system would be helpful though, if only because in the late game you pretty much need to soften up groups of enemies before you can charge- and they can often chuck firepower back at you capable of killing you in four or five hits (Ork missile troops and Chaos plasma gunners for example) and if you’re unlucky you will get about four or five of these troops firing at you at once. With a little practise you can work around this, but you’ll still find that every so often (often enough to be noticeable) you die from a concentrated blast of rockets because your head was sticking out. Conceptually, the idea of a cover system doesn’t work so well with the game, so perhaps a better idea would be to depower these ‘heavy’ units a little. It isn’t a game breaker, but it does get irritating and when combined with the other main criticism discussed below, totally changes how the game is played, moving it away from a melee centric experience with a bit of shooting into something more akin to Gears of War.

The biggest fault with Space Marine remains the ‘execute to heal’ mechanic. Again, I touched on this in my review of the demo and I stand by the sentiment. It’s a fantastic gameplay idea, but it needs more work. You just can’t perform an execution when you’re fighting against a large number of enemies because you will certainly be killed while the animation takes place. One could argue that this means simply picking the correct moment to use the special move is important- and thus makes combat more strategic- but you don’t have that much control over the melee- especially in later fights as enemies are much harder to stun, and you need to stun an enemy to execute them. About mid way through the game you start praying each time you perform an execution that it will be one of the shorter ones, as a long one is pretty much a death sentence in all but the smallest of melees.

In later fights this just gets even worse. Towards the end of the game I didn’t even bother trying to engage anyone in close combat- I just used ranged weapons and headshoted every Chaos Marine I saw with a lascannon. Going into close combat with them was pointless as they were too tough to stun, did loads of damage, and their retinues would chip me down into the floor anyway.

As I said earlier I get the impression you are supposed to use ranged weapons to soften up the enemy groups and then charge in chainsword whirring to finish the job, but enemy behaviour and gameplay ‘features’ emphasise long range combat. The problem is that the only enemies who pose a significant threat to you at range are the first ones you pick off (Plasma gunners and the like) and once they are gone all that’s left are the enemies dangerous in a melee- so why close to range when you can just keep shooting them? If you keep your distance they’ll probably never even get through your shields so you don’t even need to recover health by fighting them. Getting into the melee is suicide as ranged enemies can still shoot you and your movement is far more restricted once you are surrounded. This is very sad because- again- Space Marine’s melee combat system is really good, and certainly the most enjoyable part of the game.

The graphics are middling to poor. The art direction is brown, grey, dust brown, and occasionally purple. Some people who read this complaint in my thoughts on the demo said that this should be the case because 40K is ‘Grimdark’; I say fuck that noise- look up concept art for 40K and you’ll see plenty of examples of striking colours; gold, brass, emerald and so forth. Even the Titan is just an oblique brown angular... almost polygon. A titan should have character, style, flair. It should look impressive. It should engender many responses but ‘oh, that’s it?’ should not be one of them. In terms of quality the graphics are also quite shabby. The textures are poor, the animation is odd and the lighting and particle effects are basic at best.

There are also many, many clipping errors and animation bugs- usually centred on the executions. You’ll lob a Chaos Marine to the floor inside a wall, stamp on an Ork skull while the said beast’s head is floating in mid air and so forth. It’s not game breaking but it is very distracting and happens far, far too often.

The spectacle of Space Marine however is everything I thought it would be. If you’re a 40K fanboy then Space Marine has wanking material in abundance. There’s plenty of ‘For the Emperor!’ and ‘Die Greenskins!’ to be had. The story is also reasonably well told with only a few plot holes- and this is what really saves Space Marine from just being bland.

The game is a fun experience. You can forgive the poorly considered (though admittedly inventive) gameplay mechanics, the dodgy graphics, and the weird voice work because at the end of the day despite its flaws Space Marine manages to be fun and entertaining. When it works the combat is strategic and fast paced- if a little repetitive. To be fair even when the combat doesn’t work it’s still rewarding, intense, challenging and as much as I complain about the healing mechanics they don’t very often feel cheap or spawn the urge to rage quit. I intend to get the (inevitable) sequel, but again I won’t be paying full price for it. While I had fun with Space Marine I simply can’t justify spending £30 on a game which has such deep cracks in it.

Make of that what you will.

I’d like to share something a little different with you for this post. Normally I post about videogames, but today I’d like to talk about another artistic medium I enjoy immensely- comic books. Specifically, a run of comics done by a writer named Peter David (No, not the farther of the celery wearing Doctor).

The series in question is an X-men spin off called X-Factor, and ran from 2005 to 2008 spanning 32 issues. And to be frank it’s some of the best comic book material I have ever read. It’s up there with Transmetropolitan and Ultimates 1&2 as some of my favourite material of all time. Honestly, for a serialised comic it even manages to compete with classic graphic novels like Watchmen.

Yes, I think it’s that good.

The set up is pretty simple. Marvel had a cross over event called M-day (an event being a big development in the Marvel setting which effects every character in some way- usually resulting in crossovers and a core ‘event book’), in which an extremely powerful mutant called the Scarlet Witch driven by grief and pain decided that the world would be a better place without any mutants. The Scarlet Witch’s power was to alter reality as she saw fit. By the time she was done, there where only about 200 mutants left in the Marvel-verse.

Now, anyone with a passing interest in the X-Men is probably aware that mutants are supposed to be representative of repressed minorities and persecuted cultures- often homosexuals (unique character traits that appear at puberty for example). This is a perfectly noble endeavour in writing, but I’ve always felt the message of persecution and bigotry is somewhat diluted when the offended party often has at least one trait which lets them throw anyone who pisses them off through the nearest window.

This is the first of Peter David’s triumphs with the series- the principle antagonist is not a supremely powerful mutant survivor, or an invading alien race- it’s that element of fear, bigotry and hatred that runs through a crowd.

Following M-Day, mutants were not killed or ‘vanished’ but instead the X gene responsible for their powers was turned off, and consequently almost all mutants lost their powers. However, many still bear physical deformities of mutanthood, or are open about their former lives. So suddenly the mutant hating mob has a plethora of targets without eye lasers to vent their hate on.

This leads to many of the depowered mutants establishing a ghetto called ‘Mutant Town’. It is here than the principle protagonist of the series, Jamie Madrox chooses to establish the base of operations for a private investigative firm called X-Factor. Their principle goal is to discover what caused M-Day (the X-men have suppressed the information regarding Scarlet Witch), and to assist the population of Mutant Town any way they can.

One of the chief elements that make this run so fantastic is the characters. Each member of the team is unique, has their own quirks both big and small and every single one of them has a well fleshed out and extremely interesting development arc. Even better than that though, their interactions as a group are extremely well written and very, very genuine.

I think that is the main selling point of this series- it’s authenticity. In much the same way that Alan Moore tried to push the idea of a superhero into a real world setting with Watchmen, X-Factor tries to create the same three dimensional view of each of its characters, showing them as far more than just costumed crime fighters. They have their hopes, fears, and aspirations. They are all fundamentally good people- but the way the world has changed has put them under amazing pressure.

So with that in mind, let’s take a look at the team.

We will start with Jamie Madrox- the Multiple Man, and the group’s leader. Madrox’s power is simple- he can convert kinetic energy in his body into duplicates of himself, and can repeat this process ad nauseam. This power has lead to some very interesting character elements. For one thing, he is terrible at making decisions. When faced with an ‘either or’ situation, he just creates dupes to pursue both avenues. He can also reabsorb his duplicates and gain their memories and experiences. However, memory being what it is he can’t really differentiate between memories that belong to Jamie Prime, and memories that came from dupes.

So naturally he does what any sane person would do with such a power- he creates a small army of dupes and sends them off to join the army, study at universities around the world, compete in sports and develop new skills. Of course, once he reabsorbs them, this knowledge becomes his.

This is what I’m talking about- characters using their super powers in realistic ways. Superheroes don’t need to be arseholes about their power, but honestly can you see Clark Kent deciding to take a bus over flying to an appointment? Do you really think Tony Stark doesn’t use the Iron Man tech to make it to the off licence before closing time? It’s that little extra bit of attention, that demonstration of how these heroes use their powers in their daily lives that helps make X-Factor so interesting.

The issue of creating dupes to lead independent lives and then… well for lack of a better term, killing them is also raised in the series. If that version of Madrox has lived for years, doesn’t it count as its own person?

Of course it isn’t that simple. Each dupe is an element of Jamie’s psyche. The best example is in the Red Dwarf episode ‘Terraform’- each dupe is an aspect of his personality made manifest. Some are his guilt, some his motivation, some his paranoia and some are that little voice you get in the back of your head which tells you to try and fuck things up just to see what will happen… So now you can see why he has learned to be careful how many dupes he creates. Of course, when he creates the dupe, he looses that element of himself and must re build it from scratch. For some dupes (such as aggression) this is easy. For other more abstract ones though, it’s almost impossible. This idea forms the premise of probably the most interesting arc in the series.

Next team member is Theresa ‘Siryn’ Cassidy, daughter of X-Man Banshee. Her power is the same as that of her farther- an extremely powerful scream and the ability to use it fly. She can also modulate her voice to make people listening to her do whatever she wants. As a character she gets surprisingly little development until the end of the run. There’s a very important event in her life in the middle of the series (I won’t say for spoilers), but it doesn’t really go any where. She’s mainly there for other characters to play off. But even so her motivations, fears and dreams are realised and while she doesn’t develop much, she is entertaining to read about.

Probably the hardest hitter in the team is Monet St. Croix, also known as M. She can fly, has super strength and also limited telepathy. Her background is that of a spoiled rich brat, who is with X-Factor more for the kicks than any real sense of duty. Think ‘Common People’ by Pulp (or William Shatner if you’re psychotic) and you won’t go far wrong. However, as the story progresses she is exposed to the real nature of the world beyond the gilded walls of her own lifestyle, and while she never really looses her brat like persona she comes to care about more than just herself. It’s her development that I enjoy the most as it’s the most subtle. She goes from constant put downs and abuse directed at her team members, to just the occasionally snarky remark or backhanded compliment as reality starts to set in.

Lending some Scottish flair to the group is Rhane ‘Wolfsbane’ Sinclair. She’s a werewolf- that’s pretty much her power. Her arc is similar to that of Beast- a battle against an animal inside her. As she says “I don’t know if I’m a woman that turns into an animal, of an animal that turns into a woman.” Rahne is also deeply religious and a devout Catholic- a fact that plays a big role later in the series what the mutant persecution gains religious backing.

The resident bruiser is Guido ‘Strong Guy’ Carosella. Guido’s arc is hard to describe without giving away spoilers, but it’s mainly focused on two ideas. The first is that sometimes you behave in ways beyond your control, and the second is the need to balance penance for said actions, with the acceptance that not everything you did was your fault. Guido is also an example of the beautiful subtlety of Peter David’s writing. Small hints are dropped before Guido’s ‘big moment’ which in retrospect are somewhat obvious.

The final character is easily the most interesting with the exception of Madrox. A depowered mutant by the name of Julio Esteban Rictor. Ten points if you can guess what his power was- and no, being Spanish is not a superpower.

Rictor's arc is about loss. His power to create earthquakes went beyond just simple muscle flexing- he was attuned to the planet and could feel the entire processes of its existence from the trees of the rainforests leeching water, to the shifting of tectonic plates, to life moving across its surface. And now the poor bastard just has the normal five senses like the rest of us. Over the course of the series Rictor has to overcome this loss, and is even tempted with the possibility of having his powers restored. Of course, the cost of doing so is great.

What makes Rictor so interesting is again Peter David’s skillful writing. Rictor is traumatised, spiteful and bitter but he is also a good person trying to do what is right. He lashes out at his friends, is overly cruel to his enemies and has a tendency to mope, but he remains pro active and is there when people need him. He’s trying to deal with his loss, trying to get on with his life, but he just finds it too hard sometimes. This is far better than most comic book writing where he’d either be a whining emo pissant or a paragon of ‘getting over it’. Again we come back to the authenticity that makes the series so great.

Despite all this praise though, the run does have it’s low points- most of them right towards the end. The penultimate arc is a cross over with the ‘Messiah Complex’ story arc that tied into all mutant related titles published at the time.

Frankly, it’s fucking terrible.

The thing that pisses me off is that X-Factor was a ‘street level’ story- it wasn’t about Doctor Doom trying to take over the world, or Galactus trying to eat it. It was about a group of people trying to find out the reasons behind the most traumatic event of their lives and their culture, while dealing with the massive phobic backlash against them. Now they’re up against a nationwide militant group of priests with access to better equipment than the US army, and Madrox is travelling through time. It’s a horrendously jarring disconnect from the stark realism of the first part of the run, and it has no place at all in this sort of story.

To make matters worse the Messiah Complex story itself was utter, utter shit. Well to be fair I haven’t read the whole thing, but what I’ve seen in X-Factor and X-Force turned my stomach. The thing that nailed the coffin shut for me was the characterization of Cyclops and Professor X.

Now, let’s be fair. Cyclops isn’t often depicted as a very nice man. But there’s a huge difference between a guy who engages in a psychic extramarital affair with a former supervillian, and a guy who explicitly orders, authorises and creates a team of mutants with the express purpose of murdering threats, who also have full licence to break the law and even torture people for the sake of their goal. And when Xavier finds out about this Cyclops emotionally blackmails the poor bastard into essentially giving him full control of the X-Men. And Xavier, a highly moral and extremely driven individual- lets it happen.

I could go on for a thousand words about the travesty, hypocrisy and sheer utter stupidity of a brain dead writer who thinks murder is ‘edgy’. I think the scene that sticks with me most is Wolverine heating his claw with a blowtorch so that he can carve off a man’s face to torture him. You can make this stuff work in the hands of a skilled writer, but it’s obvious that the bits of Messiah Complex I read were done by a fool with his head stuck in the Rob Liefeld school of comic design. Violence with no message.

Suffice to say the penultimate story arc of X-Factor is a terrible mess; you also need to read other titles to get the full story as the narrative is interlaced, oh and the entire thing is the complete opposite of what made the story so great to begin with.

The final arc is a desperate attempt to recover from the massive haymaker to the plot that was Messiah Complex. It claws back some joy in the form of more character development, but it’s sadly obvious that the series has jumped the shark and what was a glorious tale peters out into a very definite, if unsatisfying end.

Still, even allowing for the terrible interference from Messiah Complex, X-Factor is a really, really good story with some fantastic characters and great development. The art work is always well done and the way characters play off each other is extremely organic. It’s well paced, exciting and action packed with some great drama moments and well executed comedy relief. If you’re into comic books, or you’re looking to get started, you could certainly do a lot worse than this run of X-Factor.

So, a short while back Bethesda softworks successfully bought the rights to a Fallout MMO for a cool two million. This has of course raised the issue of whether Bethesda is going to actually create such a game, or if they are holding the rights for some other nefarious purpose.

I’ve made my views on multiplayer games more than clear, and on more than one occasion. My distaste for them however, extends into the realms of deep seated loathing for their bastard spawn; the MMO.

MMOs typify everything I loathe about multiplayer games. They are shallow worlds with no interesting characters and crappy stories. They require you to communicate with people who are mostly complete pricks, and without a doubt they have the worst gameplay out of any genre. There are specific examples of other games which are of course far worse, but as a genre you will not find a bigger collection of utterly boring mechanics outside of the MMO. The reasons for this are many and varied and will certainly be touched on in greater detail soon, as an explanation is owed to such a complete dismissal of a genre you all seem intent to piss money into on a daily basis.

But today we are going to be constructive. Today I am going to outline certain elements which I think a Fallout MMO should posses- hell maybe even things that would make me want to play the bloody game. So, let’s jump right in.

Human only player characters.
Supermutants work best as antagonists. The atmosphere and pacing of Fallout would be best served as a disparate group of people desperately trying to survive in a hostile world. That pressure and intensity is much lessened if you are able to crush someone’s head like a melon with a flick of your wrist.

Of course it isn’t fun to be cowering in fear for the whole game, but I’ll get to that in a minute.

Emphasis on solo and small team quests.
When I think of Fallout, the only big groups I envisage outside of settlements are a column of Enclave troops grinding the wasteland into dust beneath their power armoured jackboots. Or perhaps a ravening horde of supermutants, hell bent on using your femur as a toothpick for the rest of you.

As such, that same atmosphere of survival and desperation is best served by people operating in small, rag tag bands. Maybe it’s just me, but I honestly can’t see massive convoys of forty odd people marching off to go and raid whisperwind cavern. I know there’s precedent with Caesar’s Legion and the NCR, but those are big organizations and have the supplies and logistics. It just strikes me as wrong that mook wonderers would be able to do that. Unless of course they formed such a power base of their own…

Player built factions only.
This is straight from the only MMO I don’t loathe, EVE Online. Big controlling groups are far more interesting when they are established and run by players. Overthrowing the Enclave is fine and dramatic, but imagine how awesome it would feel to do it knowing that somewhere on the other end of an internet connection you have actually beaten somebody. This wasn’t a scripted event, or a storyline someone wrote- you played a part in the downfall of someone’s actual long term plan, took down an organization built and run by actual people.

Of course, to make such a thing meaningful the game would need more than just guilds...

Resources, settlements, colonies and supply lines.
This is another thing from EVE Online. Give player run factions the ability to actually create something- a legacy and a powerbase, resources to fight over and control, manufacturing centres to equip their forces with the best kit (or at least the best kit post war mechanics can build), strongholds to store their goods, old military bases to occupy and ‘prospect’.

This provides two things- one, a feeling of being badass. A part of a machine larger than you working towards a goal. Kind of like how your boss wants you to feel at work, but with more plasma rifles to use and a paycheque in the form of power armour.

Two, it provides a great ‘endgame’. Done questing? Is your level so high that it can no longer be reasonably called a number? Do Radscorpions flee at your mere presence? Then it’s time to show people how much of a badass you truly are- drive them before you, size their lands and hear the lamentations of their robotrons. Honestly, victory over an enemy ‘guild’ is far more satisfying when you know you’ve done their plans and resources some real, actual harm as opposed to just base humiliation.

This also means that you naturally get different factions. Let’s say for example you have control of a military base which drops a random number of high tech pre war weapons every 24 hours. This is great, but you still need to move those items. In accordance with market economics theory, a guild will rise to intercept your caravans. Bingo, you have bandits. Which means you need guards. Which means planning- which contributes more and more to the feeling of authenticity in the wasteland- plotting your survival and your expansion.

This would help make the game far more immersive and entertaining and raise the stakes for all players involved. http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

Meaningful quests.
One thing I loathe in most MMOs is the utterly braindead questing. Go to point X. Collect Y many bits of monster Z and come back. Gold and XP! Oh please do fuck off and die. It was one of the big reasons I thrashed Neir, and to a lesser extent the Witcher. This is the most boring, banal, utterly lacking idea for a game in the known universe. And it is all over MMOs, often with no attempt to even try and dress it up as anything different.

Give quests some real stories and put effort into them. Add some random content so the quest isn’t the same for everyone. Tie them into the PvP guild warfare so low level players can make a difference, such as completing a quest adding a stat buff to a base’s defences for a few hours.

And Finally
Ron Perlman doing the intro. It isn’t Fallout without Ron Perlman doing the intro.

2011 has not been a good year for me. But it has had its upsides! One of those has been the release of some pretty awesome games. So, today’s post is dedicated to my personal favourite games of 2011. Note that I say *my* personal favourites- I’m not claiming these to be the very best of the year in a complete sense, but they are the best that I played. If you feel a game deserves a mention then head to the comments section and by all means have your say- I’d love to hear what you think!

So, with flame proof wards in place, let us jump to the award ceremony of the Evi’s 2011! Only slightly less unprofessional the Spike VGA awards.


Best Graphics:

Runner up: Skyrim.
Skyrim is a bloody gorgeous game. I love the visual design, I love the almost authentic Nordic styling, the rolling plains, the craggy mountains, the weather effects and I especially love the design of the dragons. But I can’t help but feel that Bethesda didn’t quite get the game looking as good as they could. With a few beautification mods such as a graphics post processor though, it looks stunning. I’m relegating it to second place though because one other game really did take me by surprise with the quality of its visuals...

Winner: Battlefield 3.
Shame about Origin, but this title just looks stunning. Now, it’s sad that such immense quality is being used in a grey brown shooter, but the lightning effects, textures and particle behaviour are second to none. I’d love to see what people do with the engine in the future. It’s unfortunate that I’ve not had the time to play much of the game itself, but It is without a doubt the best looking game of 2011, its sheer quality making up for the drab ‘realistic’ styling.

Best soundtrack.

Runner up: Child of Eden.
A legitimate attempt to make a game specifically for the Kinect, Child of Eden is a fun, hyper stylized rail shooter from the creators of Rez. While in many regards it leaves a lot to be desired (it’s more of an experience than a game), the soundtrack is top notch. Sometimes this accolade is given for music that just sounds good, but Child of Eden’s soundtrack is not only of the highest quality, but also manages to complement the graphics and even the gameplay flawlessly. How do you even manage to make music ‘sound’ like a gameplay mechanic? I don’t know, but Child of Eden did it.

Winner: Bastion.
Darren Korb is a name to remember. He’s the man behind the soundtrack of Bastion, and is without a doubt the composer of the best soundtrack of 2011. He captures the scenes his music plays over beautifully, and the production values are top notch. Best of all, they even sound great outside of the game. You can buy the soundtrack on Steam and I would strongly recommend that you do so. Korb has a unique sound and style, and I can’t wait to hear what he comes up with next.

Best Voice Acting

Runner up: Stephen Merchant as Wheatley (Portal 2)
Merchant narrowly beat out Danny Wallace as Shaun Hastings (Assassin’s Creed) for this spot. I think they are both about equal, delivering great off the cuff performances and providing some much needed comedy relief in both of their titles. However I can’t help but feel that Wheatley’s stronger presence in Portal 2 gave him an edge. His character was ‘more interactive’ and as such it’s easier to appreciate his performance. He nailed every line, and was an immensely fun addition to the franchise. I’d love to see Wheatley again, and I can’t wait to see what Merchant does next in the videogames industry.

Winner: Mark Hamill as Joker (Arkham City)
When people talk about the Joker these days they often refer to him as a different character depending on who is writing/playing him. In much the same way that people may talk of ‘X’s Mark Antony’ or ‘Y’s Mickey Johnstone’. It’s a testament to the depth, versatility and complexity of the character that people differentiate between the different portrayals far more than Batman. While Heath Ledger remains my favourite Joker, Mark Hamill’s portrayal in both Batman: The Animated Series, and the Arkham games is a close second. He’s got the perfect mix of menace, dark humour and sheer insanity that make the character so fantastic. It was easily the most memorable performance of 2011; creepy, compelling and creative. A well deserved win. A special mention also needs to go to Tara Strong who played Harley Quinn. She and Hamill worked exceptionally well off each other. Oh, and Spike? YOU DO NOT STICK LUKE FUCKING SKYWALKER IN THE BLEACHERS AT YOUR AWARD CEREMONY.

Best Storytelling

Runner Up: Gears of War 3...?
Yes, you read that right. And no, I’m not being a jackass just to drum up controversy! I honestly really enjoy the Gears storyline. It’s extremely basic, but it’s well told with only a few plot holes (fewer than most games anyway) and it has some great moments. I can’t really give away too much without spoilers for people who haven’t played it, but there was one moment in GoW3 that honestly nearly had me in tears. Yeah I’m man enough to admit it. I love to lose myself in games and Gears makes it very easy to do that. It may not be challenging or deep, but it’s easy to get attached to the characters and the occasional dramatic moments are well done. Plus it was a breath of fresh air to see a male and female lead in a platonic relationship. It’s rare to see that in any media, let alone videogames. It may not be everyone’s choice for runner up, but it is mine.

Winner: Bastion.
The Kid takes home another trophy! Storytelling in videogames is often done in a very hamfisted way, typically through endless cut scenes or walls of text (I’m looking at you FFXIII). In some cases this works well. Hideo Kojima has elevated the endless cut scene to the status of a genre in and of itself. But for the most part when they want to tell a story most developers forget that they are making a game that is designed to be played. Enter Bastion. No cut scenes, no lengthy dialogue sequences, no walls of text. Bastion’s use of constant narration, while initially annoying until you get used to it, is a hugely innovative step in videogame story telling. It won’t work for every game, however as an experiment it was a fantastic way to maintain constant gameplay and combine it with a well told yarn. A sure spot for number one.

Best Gameplay

Runner up: Arkham City
Arkham Asylum is one of the best games ever made. I hold this truth to be self evident, and therefore do not need to justify myself to you philistines! It’s was even down in the Guinness book of world records as game with the highest number of perfect score reviews. Arkham City makes it even better, opening the game out a little, adding more content and even managing to improve the already fantastic combat system. It’s simple, intuitive and hugely rewarding. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was most people’s number one spot for this category.

Winner: Tropico 4.
Another controversial decision. Tropico 4, like Tropico 3, has a flawless complexity curve. It’s fairly simple to pick up the basics, and once you have that the entire island is your oyster. As you get better and better at the game you start to notice more and more ways to tweak the world and your city. After a few hours you’ll be knee deep in ‘socio-political engineering’ I.E, brainwashing everyone into loyalists. Through dozens of subtle methods you can achieve a massive array of results and very different styles of society. The best part is at no point do you feel you ‘need’ to learn more. You go from beginner to master without ever actually realising that your game is improving- all thanks to the way that new concepts and ideas are introduced at a pace you set, without even realising it.

Best Smartphone Game

Runner up: Zen Pinball.
Mainly for Teraga equipped tablets, Zen Pinball is a port of Pinball FX which most of you will know from the Xbox Live Arcade marketplace. It uses some of the same tables and is every bit as good as its 360 counterpart. Zen has great, realistic physics, oodles of style and a compulsive element that borders on Civilization levels. The only drawback is that it won’t work well on all Android devices, so remember that if it doesn’t work you can claim a refund within 15 minutes of purchase. Try to beat my highscores! I’m Evis03!

Winner: Grand Prix Story
The ‘Story’ games are basically business management titles. Don’t let their simplistic graphics fool you though! These are very high quality, well thought out, deep and complex games with loads of replay value. Grand Prix story devoured hours of my life as I lay in bed fine tuning my vehicles, training my staff and researching new technology. A light version is available as a demo and well worth a look. It is available on both Apple and Android stores.

Wooden Spoon- Because some things are just S###

Runner up: Duke Nukem Forever.
Awful graphics, horrible presentation, crap gameplay, abysmal music and frankly far more fun as a running joke. It wasn’t the worst game I’ve ever played, but it was certainly one of the worst purchases I made in 2011. More thoughts here.

‘Winner’: The 3DS.
Here comes the stampede of Nintendo fanboys! I got a 3DS on release date (hell, I went to the midnight launch) and my thoughts on it have been made eminently clear elsewhere on this blog for those who care to read the drunken ramblings of a madman. The long story short though is that while the console itself is fine (I’m one of those strange people who don’t hate 3D on principle- but I do acknowledge that no one seems to use it properly at the moment), the launch line up and subsequent releases were atrocious. What wasn’t just outright crap was either meagre, or rereleases of old games. I already have Ocarina of time. I can play it any time I like on a 36” screen. I don’t give a shit about paying another £40 to play it in 3D.

To cap it off, all my mobile gaming these days is done on my phone or tablet anyway. Games on these platforms are far cheaper and far more suited for quick, pick up-play-put down, style gaming that is so important on a commute. Easily the biggest waste of money this year- and that’s saying a lot from someone who bought both DN:F and Dragon Age 2.

Game of the Year

Runner up: Skyrim
A game with the compulsive nature of crack and the eeked out rewards of the crack dealer. It strings you along and keeps you playing for just one more quest, one more item, one last cleared dungeon- then you can go to bed. You awake four hours later, your face plastered to the keyboard, drool gumming up the keys and the gentle smell of urine from your trousers.

This is Skyrim’s greatest asset and yet also why it isn’t my GOTY. I can’t stop playing the bloody thing. I honestly can’t. But the thing is I can’t figure out why. Everything about it is very well executed, the combat works, the skills are cool, and the world is nice and so on. The stories are a little lacklustre but that’s par for the course with Bethesda games. But that’s just it. Nothing individual is outstanding, but when you put everything together it metamorphoses into something that you just can’t put the fuck down.

Skyrim is a fantastic time sink. I’ve played it for nearly 70 hours, and you know what? I barely remember any of it. Most of the time I have the game turned down low and I’m also listening to an audio book. Yet despite the fact that it leaves so little impression, I keep finding myself throwing hour and hours and hours into it. That alone has to be worth massive kudos, so I offer it the runner up space.

And the Game of 2011 is....

Arkham City.

Arkham Asylum is- as I have previously intimated- one of the finest games ever made. Arkham City is even better. I’ve touched on the improvements made before, but much like Assassin’s Creed 2 to AC1, Arkham City builds on the strongest points and shuffles the weaker ones around or does away with them entirely. Everything about this game is fantastic. The graphics are of the highest quality and also wonderfully moody and atmospheric. The sound is well done, the story is well told if a little pat, the villains are wonderfully imagined and the entire thing has been completed to a level of polish and excellence that brings a manly tear to my eye. It does everything right. What more can I say except it’s my favourite game of 2011, and Rocksteady are the best thing to arrive in the gaming community since Felicia Day.

Noteworthy mentions

Deus Ex Human Revolution
What happened to this game? It hit the community with the force of a category five tornado wielding Thor’s hammer and then vanished. I know that there was some DLC, but for a title so hotly anticipated and so well received (even Yahtzee praised it) it passed in the blink of an eye. It’s a strange conundrum!

Sonic Generations
A shout out needs to go to everyone’s favourite woodland mammal. He’s had a hard time of it the last ten or so years, but Generations shows that Sonic can still be good. A return to the basic values of the franchise was just what the Dr Eggman ordered, and Generations delivered. A hugely enjoyable platformer, and a welcome return to excellence for the speedy hero with the blue dreads.

LA Noire
My review of this title is elsewhere on this blog. I’ve come to the conclusion that it was a fairly poor game. I’ll praise Team Bondi (well I would if they still existed) for their willingness to take a risk and try something new, but much like Mirror’s Edge the end result was less than promising. Fair dues to you for trying people, but a lot of us were hyped for this release and ended up disappointed.

Dragon Age 2
I’ve ranted, raged, cried, sacrificed goats and called down the wrath of any God who will listen on/against this game. But I do need to make one point very, VERY clear as I breezed over it in my video review.

It isn’t a bad game.

It was a crushing disappointment, and a clear message from EA that it didn’t care about the Classic CRPG crowd that DA:O was aimed at. But it wasn’t a bad game. It worked, it had some nice characters and at the very least I played it through the (bitter) end. While I loathe and detest it with every fibre of my being, do not let it be said I declared it to be bad in ‘overall’ terms.

So that’s 2011 sorted. On to a new year, new games, maybe some new consoles and more potential than you can shake a wii-mote at! Love and peace y’all!

-Evis T.

Did you know that there’s an argument for the United States Postal Service to be blamed for attempts to poison senators and media companies with Anthrax? It’s an argument that would place the deaths of five people, killed by a weaponized disease in the hands of the Post Office.

If you didn’t think something along the lines of ‘that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever read’ when you looked over those sentences, you have a very twisted view of the world and should probably seek medication. But you know what? It’s true. It takes a very twisted, neigh corkscrew logic to see it- but it’s there. And you want to know what’s scary? The American senate is debating the future of the nation’s internet access based on that precise logic.

Confused yet? Good. Grab a drink and get comfortable. This won’t take long.

In 2001, Anthrax spores were mailed to several American media companies and two senators. I’ll spare you the details, but there’s more information on Wikipedia for those of you who were still a glint in the milkman’s eye back then. But suffice to say, who do we blame for those deaths? The nutter who sent the letters right? And probably whoever got him the Anthrax. Would it occur to you at any point to blame the Postal System for being the medium by which the attack took place?

Now, when a person buys a bootleg DVD from a dodgy market stand in Croydon, who do you blame? The person who made the copy? The person who bought it? The person who sold it? All of the above? That would be my answer too. But how about the company that made the blank DVD that was used in the copy? I mean, by creating such a device they effectively enabled the piracy to take place. No blank DVDs, no DVD copy, no piracy. This is what we call logic kiddies.

Need another example? How about a group of thieves ram-raid a shop (this means breaking in by driving a car through it). Who is to blame? The thieves, the shop owner? Mall Security? How about the car salesman for providing the thieves with the tools to commit their crime?

But Evis! You cry with indignance and self inflated importance- ‘That’s just stupid. It isn’t the fault of Samsung and Ford that someone is abusing their product!’ And you’d be right. People are punished for the CRIME, not for the means used to commit it- and the people who created the means certainly are not blamed unless they were involved in other illegal practices. But this is the batshit moon logic that the US House of Representatives now has to consider.

The Digital Millennium Copyright act grants certain websites such as YouTube exemption from responsibility if users upload illegal and/or copyrighted content. Provided of course that they remove said content when notified that it exists. It’s called the ‘safe harbor’ and it is vital to enable websites like YouTube, Digg, Reddit and so forth to operate. The amount of submissions that these sites get is astronomical- it is simply not possible to vet every last submission. Not without employing so many people you’d be bankrupt pretty much right away.

The system isn’t perfect. For one thing it means someone has to actually notice and report the content, and then the site has to take it down. By which time the content has spread to a dozen other places and been accessed by thousands of people. But can you think of anything better? The supporters of SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act) think so.

They want to do away with the ‘safe harbour’ part of the DMCA, forcing sites to vet every last submission or risk being sued into the ground. Oh, and on top of that they will censor any site that hosts, shows or links to pirated material or- and here is the kicker ‘counterfit gooods’. Censor as in- you will not be able to access this is you live in the US. At all.

So, basically this act, should it pass would trigger the following: YouTube as we know it would be killed. As would almost every social networking site (including Facebook and Twitter) unless every single post you make is checked, lest it contain a link to the latest shitty Hollywood blockbuster. And you thought privacy terms at the moment were bad?

In fact, any free and open platform from 4Chan to your blog could be targeted. Did your blog link to a 30 second clip from a movie? Well done- under the provisions of this act the US Government can now order that your blog be struck from the DNS system and made inaccessible to people within the US. It will be another nation to have a ‘Great Firewall’. The other often cited one being China. But hey, when China does it it’s because they have a totalitarian government with an abysmal human rights record and no freedom at all right? But when the US does it, it will be to protect you from… uhhh… accidentally watching a film you haven’t paid for? Thinking that you could buy a genuine new iPhone 4Gs for $50?

This act isn’t about you America. It was never about you. It’s about business and profit- just like it always is. The administration doesn’t give a fuck about you, your rights or your safety online. This isn’t even about tightening the law. This is all about gouging away at anything that eats into the profits of these companies- these companies who pay you minimum wage, offer no benefits, fire you if you form a union and con you out of any entitlement you might have. They don’t give a fuck about you, why should you give one about them? If these businesses looked after you than maybe I would encourage you to support them. They don’t though, so that’s that.

Look, Piracy is illegal. Piracy does costs jobs, and it does cost money. It may not be as terribly damaging as groups like the RIAA and MPAA want you to think, but it does damage the economy. We should combat it; we should try and stamp it out. But not like this. Businesses should be trying to coax people away from piracy with new practices- not encouraging the government to censor mass communication to take that opportunity away. The digital age has been here for over a decade (longer even) and these companies still don’t know how to react to it. Instead of embracing it they fight it. Instead of realizing that the rules of the game have changed they continue to below at us waving their out of date rulebook around like a bloodied sabre.

The internet can be your friend. Digital downloads have made services like iTunes a fortune and Video Rentals via Xbox Live are a nice earner for Microsoft. The internet is the future and you can’t sweep the future under the rug with legislation and lobbying. Maybe if people don’t feel that your products are worth paying for you should experiment with why- and then try something new. It says a lot that the companies opposing this are the ones who are most closely tied to the internet. They can see the damage it will do, whereas the RIAA and MPAA can’t see past the 0’s on their profit margin.

Piracy will never be stamped out entirely. No crime ever will. All that SOPA will achieve is marking the US as taking its second step on the road to totalitarianism. The first was the ham-fisted attempted to censor wikileaks. Don’t forget America, it will only be a matter of time before this act, if it passes, will be broadened to include ‘matters of national security’. Such as photos of police pepper spraying an 80 year old woman. Such as reports of how the latest war is *really* going.

Always remember, the means are not the crime.

There have been a few games out recently now that we’re out of the Summer fallow, but to be honest I’ve not been doing much gaming. Between work and well… just work to be honest.

Anyway, I’ve re written this intro five times now and I can’t make it sound right. So bugger that, and let’s talk about some of the games I have been playing.

Gears of War 3
If you want a good time it’s hard to go wrong with Gears. Oh it typifies pretty much everything I loathe in the current crop of action games, but there’s something compulsive in the Gears of War series. Maybe it’s the fact is knows exactly what it wants to be and sticks to it. Maybe it’s the fact that while it doesn’t break new ground any more, it does tread its turf with extreme competence and authority.

It’s just a really well put together game, and provides a few hours of mindless fun. There isn’t much more of a point in talking about it- you probably already know if you want to grab it or not, and if you don’t know then I suggest you grab Gears of War one or two first as the changes between them are relatively minor. I will say this though; Gears 3 is certainly the best of the series.

Deus Ex: Human Revolution
Anyone who’s dug back in my old posts will know I don’t like Deus Ex. It grew on me slightly when I tried to play it again a few months after making that post, but I still think that it is hugely overrated when considered in today’s market. It has aged very badly.

That put to one side Human Revolution is an excellent game, providing a variety of challenges and rewards all wrapped up in a very neat, extremely pretty package. The graphics quality is high, but for some reason everything is tinted orange. Fallout New Vegas did the same thing and wouldn’t you know- when you mod the marmalade off the camera the game looks fucking gorgeous. Human Revolution has a similar mod, and the effect is the same. Why do developers keep doing this? It’s like painting a beautiful landscape and then covering it in Roses wrappers.

One aspect of the game that really hammers its score though are the boss fights. Aside from being totally unnecessary, they are also phoned in- big time. There are four in total, and not to give away too many spoilers all of them are crap.

First off, if you didn’t pick up any combat augmentations (like me- I play stealth and non lethal), these fights offer very little mercy. There is often nothing to actually complement the upgrades that you do have, which means you essentially need to use some really cheap tactics to get ahead. Also, if you travel light and don’t have much in the way of grenades e.t.c, the fight gets even worse. To the developers credit though, the boss arenas as least have a good spread of weapons and ammo.

My biggest gripe out these boss fights though is that they are totally, utterly inconsequential to the story. You don’t even know their names until the cutscene before the fight, and one boss’ name is never even revealed. There is such a broken, ragged disconnection between the narrative flow of the bulk of the game and the boss fights that it’s truly unnerving.

Eidos Montreal actually outsourced the boss fights to Grip, but even then I would have expected the writers to make use of them as characters. A boss fight should represent an apex of the story, a climax or convergence of plot points. These are just tripwires in the narrative. If you want an example of a boss fight done well as a narrative tool, look at anything by Hideo Kojima. Bosses are established (in some cases recurring) characters with names, histories and personalities. Sometimes one or more of these aspects are terrible, but they are always present. The fights are always interesting, requiring you to think up new tactics and adapt to unique situations. Again, sometimes they are not good, but they are usually memorable little stories in and of themselves. Best of all, when they die they are not shoved back into nowhere and never mentioned again. They are characters and their deaths are as key to the story as their lives were. Hell, Psyco Mantis pops up in MGS4 after being killed in MGS1. And Ocelot? Christ- he’s the axle on which the plot of the entire bloody series turns. He’s as much a main character as Snake.

And who are these nameless goons in Human Revolution? No one. They are totally unimportant. I’m not joking when I say that if you cut them from the game all together, practically nothing needs to be changed. Jensen can get shot by a random mook, or caught in a grenade blast or something. The only contribution to the plot is when the first boss, for some totally insane reason tells Jensen where to go next. Why does he do this? No idea. It’s not like he’s had a change of heart and is trying to atone for his sins or something- he tries to kill you moments later. Okay, maybe he’s trying to coax Jensen closer, but wouldn’t he just lie?

Aside from that though, the rest of the game is exceptionally good and a lot of fun to play. Well recommended.

Tropico 4:
Very little has changed from Tropico 3. There is now a more structured campaign a mode, a few more buildings and some minor changes to the way edicts and policies are handled. The graphics have had a minor update too.

If you enjoyed Tropico 3, you’ll enjoy Tropico 4. But you may feel cheated by the price tag for what really amounts to an expansion pack. Give the demo a try though; it’s better than Tropico 3- just not by much.

Dead Island:
This isn’t what I wanted. I wanted a good, serious, narrative driven zombie survival RPG. What I got was Borderlands with zombies in it. I can’t really say Dead Island is bad, but as I’ve said before in this blog many times, I loathe games that are reliant on multiplayer. It’s just an excuse for the developers to put less effort in, and I believe that Dead Island really makes my point for me. Playing alone, it is nothing more than a sequence of fetch quests. Even when I tried playing it with Betamax I was bored shitless. It isn’t a bad game, and it has many good points (the graphics are nothing short of spectacular) but it totally and utterly failed to engage me on any level. So little effort was put into the way the story was told and the quests to complete that it was almost painful. It was obvious the devs thought ‘parties are going to skip these sequences anyway, so why have them?’ A complete waste of £30 for me, but if you dig the multiplayer co op element on games then you’ll probably have a good time with it.

Love and peace y’all.