I Am Drunk, And I Am Angry.

I am seriously considering getting rid of my 3DS. What's the fucking point? Its entire library consists of games I played and finished over ten fucking years ago. And all the new releases are also rehashes of the same tired games. I've had enough. I'm making a statement. With no ambiguity I cry; NINTENDO HAVE BECOME SHIT. They are out of ideas. Out of the game. How can any human being play the same tired crap over and over again, knowing all the secrets, knowing how it ends, and every little turn along the way? I can get replaying a good game (hell I've played New Vegas through three times), but these are games with multiple paths and ways to play. Ocarina of time has exactly ONE fucking story. ONE set of characters. ONE way of playing- ONE game.

I can get the argument of re playing your favourite games- I do it all the time (Metal Gear Solid in particular), but I’m not paying £30 every three years for the fucking privilege.

As much as I’ve ranted and raved about Final Fantasy XIII, at least it showed some new ideas. They may have been terrible but they were new. Nintendo does not have a shred of dignity or creativity left. Develop a new intellectual property. Or at least do something different with the ones you have.

I used to love Nintendo. The only reason I didn’t buy a Wii was because they were out of stock when I went to get one, and I wanted a new console there and then. I got a 360.

Best fucking compromise of my life.

And Konami- half of their E3 line up was HD rehashes of classic games. This I can sort of get behind, many of these are long running series and high quality versions would help people who are unfamiliar with the series origin and may be put off by the low graphics (Kids these days), to get acquainted with them. Fine- I’ve bought a few myself. But when airing the same wank encrusted underwear that’s been festering in your wardrobe for a decade is a large part of what should be the biggest presentation of the year? You’ve lost it.

You know what this is? This is the fucking Star Wars trilogy. This is twenty different version and cuts of the same product, none of the edits make any overall difference (Not even Han Shot First. It’s old. It wasn’t important. Get the fuck over it). I love Star Wars. I love Ocarina of Time. But both of these products have had their shelf life. Give me something new (preferably not the Phantom Menace)- put as much effort into innovating your games as you are your hardware Nintendo, and maybe we can get somewhere.

This has helped me clear my head. I’m getting rid of my 3DS. It serves no purpose that could not be fulfilled by any other means- including an emulator and a stack of ROMs, which, by the way, are free.

1 Response to "I Am Drunk, And I Am Angry."

  1. Mixed thoughts on this... on the one hand, I agree entirely. Guess what Nintendo, you can download classic games straight onto consoles now! In fact you guys started the trend, remember? No? It was quite popular. So popular that Microsoft and Sony copied it (although I suppose you've grown numb to that by now).

    On the other hand... me being the backwards-looking old man that I am, I'd still rather play Ocarina of Time than anything puked out nowadays by Activision, Bioware or Square-Enix.

    As you note, a classic game is a classic game (good gameplay doesn't age, whatever Bill might have to say about it) but current audiences put off by technical limitations of older games might be unwilling to give them a try. ROMs are illegal and until a reliable virtual arcade is set up for handheld consoles, retail release is the next best way of making them available.

    In my opinion, the problem isn't that these remakes and rereleases exist. On balance, I LIKE that they exist. The problem is that it's all Nintendo do these days. Actual NEW games they release per year? Does it even break double digits? Their past glories are immense. I can't see any developer matching Nintendo's back catalogue of five star titles. Yet sadly Ninty don't seem to care about adding to that catalogue anymore.

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